Synopsis: When a young doctor suspects she may not be alone in her new Brooklyn loft, she learns that her landlord has formed a frightening obsession with her.

Thoughts: Wow, this trailer for The Resident had me laughing. So many dumb questions. I shouldn’t even bother to type out, but eff it. I am going to. Here we go.

1. Why does the trailer try to sell it self as a borderline paranormal movie? It’s not.

2. The old vulnerable girl in the bathroom gag? Really? Really? Wow.

3. When does home security actually send you instant messages on your computer, letting you know you have “new video recordings”. Why would there even be “new video recordings”? Wouldn’t the video just be a constant stream? To say “7 new video recordings” would mean the video is broken apart, and recorded in segments. Second, how would the security recording devices in apartment know what video clips to send you?

Holy crap, talk about dumbing down technology for your audience.

*Pictured: How Hollywood thinks security technology works*

4. Why does this movie seem like propaganda advertising ADT security? “Single women living by yourself in the city? You know creepy men are stalking you around every corner, right? “. It’s a little much

5. Why are these creepers in the movie stalking Hilary Swank? Do they have nothing else to do besides sit in between the walls of her apartment, watching her bath? Are they that bored? Listen, I am not knocking it as a hobby, but these dudes are committed.

6. THE ULTIMATE question: Why doesn’t the girl just move the hell out? Oh wait, she got a good deal on the apartment. Of course it’s worth risking her life for. “BISH, I GOT A GOOD DEAL ON THIS! I Ain’t going NO WHERE!”

Bonus question: Why does Hillary Swank look so hot in this trailer? DAAAAAAYUM

The Resident hits theaters March 29th, 2011. Starring Hilary Swank, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Christopher Lee. Directed by Antti Jokinen.